Have you ever felt an explosion of energy traveling through your body, sexual tension, increased heart rate, goosebumps, butterflies in the stomach, insatiable happiness and an euphoric sensation? It is possible that you were experimenting sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry basically motivates us to meet new people and go a step further. But, we’ve all wondered, how do I know if I have sexual chemistry with someone? Is chemistry the same as sexual compatibility? Can it be created? How does it feel?
Want to know the answers? We strongly recommend that you keep reading….
Is sexual chemistry important?
We could agree that sexual chemistry must be present for any relationship to thrive. But how does sexual chemistry work? Behind this euphoric, mysterious, pleasurable and sometimes impulsive state, there are psychophysiological changes that take place during the sexual experience:
- Attraction: pheromones shared and perceived through saliva and odors.
- Infatuation: neurotransmitters charged for the euphoric state, joy, etc.
- Attachment: responsible for well-being, comfort feeling and improvement of the immune system, among others. Is directly related to oxytocin and endorphins.
In other words, sexual chemistry is present from the moment two people first meet, and can develop or disappear as the relationship evolves.
What is sexual chemistry and how does it occur?
Sexual chemistry is spontaneous and occurs without predetermination. Tends to happen only with the right person. It’s basically a physical connection with another person that occurs instantaneously.
There must be a cocktail of ingredients for this to happen. Some of these are:
- Sexual desire: impulse or force that motivates us to have sexual encounters with other people.
- Sexual attraction: it’s related to physical appearance and plays a major role in comfort and intimacy.
- Sexual tension: occurs unconsciously when we feel sexually attracted to someone.
- Sexual frequency: frequency in which sexual encounters are maintained.
- Sexual satisfaction: subjective evaluation that happens after a sexual encounter.
These ingredientes, among others, are vital for sexual chemistry. These indicators may help us find a potential person with the same chemistry.
It’s important to emphasize that the term sexual chemistry is very difficult to conceptualize with precision given that it’s a subjective issue. But let’s clarify some concepts to understand it better.
Sexual compatibility and emotional connection
Compatibility can be defined as a similarity or closeness we have with others. On the other hand, emotional connection is a combination of affinities , trust, complicity and values that are established in a relationship. A fusion of these two aspects have a positive effect on our emotions.
Can sexual chemistry be created or cultivated?
Sexual chemistry is intrinsically related to sexual compatibility and emotional connection. Without chemistry it’s impossible to have compatibility nor connection.
It is possible to cultivate sexual chemistry as long as it has already existed. But this also means that once it has existed, iIt can grow and be nurtured . Although, in some cases it may diminish over time.
Why does sexual chemistry decline?
Sexual chemistry can be determined by various factors. It can diminish over time when a couple “settles in”. The main causes for a decreased sexual chemistry are:
- Psychophysiological: sexual routines, same activities, no novelty.
- Emotional: once the relationship is established, the emotional intensity decreases.
- Energy: related to the two previous factors, the body tends to diminish the energy with time, causing us to perceive relationship as something monotonous and routine.
How to improve or regain sexual chemistry?
The answer may seem obvious but the key is to commit. Every relationship takes time and dedication to make it work.
But we must also remember to have:
- Healthy nutrition: a healthy diet is necessary for the proper functioning of the body in every aspect: physical, mental and emotional.
- Physical contact:
- Cuddle and touch: combine the touch with eroticism.
- Kissing: a good kiss will go a long way when it’s passionate, “touching the lips” is not enough.
- Looks: looking into each other’s eyes increases sexual hormones.
- New scenarios: having sexual encounters outside the bed can help awaken sexual desire and explore.
- Time management: making an effort to find time and spend quality time with your partner is a must.
- Communication: talking about “forbidden” topics or having uncomfortable conversations can help resolve misunderstandings and improve intimacy and complicity in your relationship.
In conclusion, integrating new and stimulating experiences with your partner will prevent boredom and will allow you to experience new sensations, thus cultivating sexual chemistry.
After all, we can imply that sexual chemistry is an important aspect to choose a potential partner. It can also help us avoid situations or sexual encounters in which we do not feel comfortable and, without any doubt, it most definitely will help us determine which person we could be intimate with. Nevertheless, there is no perfect equation to really know with whom we are compatible sexually, physically, mentally, lovingly, etc., but we can always use this “guide” to get to our maximum of sexual chemistry.
Author: Anel Martínez (Sexual Coach at MYHIXEL)
Sexologist specializing in sex therapy and sex education, mental health and human behavior.
PS: Remember you can book a private consultation with me at MYHIXEL CLINIC. Book your appointment here.