Question: It’s been a pretty bleak year for my sex life with covid and now heading into winter with very little excitement planned, do you have any advice on how I can make my (very solo) sex life a bit more exciting over the next few months?
Times are tough. This is the longest dry spell many of us have ever faced, and what’s so frustrating about it is that it’s not self-imposed. Like we want to have sex. We are horned to the max. Other people are horned to the max. But thanks to Ms. Rona, we can’t go out and meet new folks. And if we do take the risk to meet up with someone we’ve connected with on Tinder, it’s such a goddamn ordeal. It’s difficult to be present on a date when you’re worried that you might contract a deadly virus just for wanting a little human interaction.
So, many of us are stuck at home, left to our own devices (pun intended). However, we live in the age of technology. Thank God, because that gives us some options when it comes to enhancing our solo sex life. Hopefully, these options are enough to last you through the cold months until a COVID vaccine becomes readily accessible.
So without further ado, here are four ways to make your “very solo” sex life a bit more exciting.
- Take your time when masturbating as you switch up your go-to routine.
I feel like most men only spend a total of five minutes masturbating. We lie down in bed, fire up some raunchy porn, and masturbate as quickly as possible. This is due to the fact that we’ve been conditioned to masturbate quickly. Growing up, our parents were in the house and lurking around every corner, so we couldn’t spend an hour in the bathroom every evening. Otherwise, they’d grow suspicious.
Now, however, you’re a grown-ass man! So really take your time masturbating. Explore different types of porn as you do. Try out different positions (e.g., on your side, on the couch, in a chair). You can even edge yourself, where you bring yourself right to the point of ejaculation, but then back off. Edging often leads to more powerful orgasms when you finally do climax. These things help draw out the masturbatory experience, so instead of it feeling like a little snack, it’s the whole damn sexual meal.
- Explore your booty.
If you haven’t ever explored your behind, now is the goddamn time. Like, what else do you have to do when you’re home alone and social distancing?
Roughly two to three inches inside the anus rests the prostate. The prostate is jam-packed with sensitive nerve-endings, which is why it feels really pleasurable when stimulated correctly. Men often report having full-body orgasms when they ejaculate with something in their rear end as opposed to localized genital orgasms.
So get yourself a little butt plug, prostate massager, or anal beads, lube them on up, and gently insert them into your booty. It will take time to get used to the sensation of having something inside your behind. (It may also take you a moment to learn how to properly clean prior). Lucky for your, time loses all meaning during COVID, so you can practice every damn day if you want to!
- Read (or listen to) erotica.
Erotica is one of the most underutilized forms of sexually arousing content. (There’s also a gender gap, with women tending to use it more than men.) If you’ve never tried reading and masturbating to erotica, you need to start now. (Another option is actually downloading a reading of an erotic passage, where a woman with a sultry voice recites the words very slowly.)
All too often, we only use visual stimuli (i.e., porn) when masturbating. It’s a different experience to get aroused without visual stimuli, and it can be titillating to hear someone whisper sexy things into your ear. Not to mention, you get the opportunity to let your imagination run wild. That can be hella fun!
- Experiment with FaceTime Sex
Last but not least, you can have FaceTime sex, which honestly is so freakin’ hot—although I will say it takes a little bit of getting used to. You have to figure out angles and lighting along with what to say after you’ve finished. (Before having FaceTime sex, you should figure out exactly where to put the camera, have any sex toys you want to use laid beside you, and figure out lighting. You want your partner to be able to see all the naughty things you’re doing.) Is it as good as real sex? No. But is it hotter than masturbating to porn by yourself? 100%.
Yes, I know none of this is ideal, and we all rather be out there on dates. Just remember that at some point in the not so distant future, we’ll be able to safely meet new folks. Until then, these five solo(ish) sex tips will get the job done. Have fun, boys.
Author: Andrés Suro (Sexual Coach at MYHIXEL)
Psychologist specialized in the social area and expert in sexology applied to education.
PS: Remember you can book a private consultation with me at MYHIXEL CLINIC. Book your appointment here.