After-sex: What to do after sex?

Whenever browsing the internet, one can find an infinite number of pre-sex oriented games. It is fairly simple to comprehend these results, as many of us are interested about the practices and games to increase sexual tension, libido or, simply, to diversify a little in the world of sexual games.

However, when searching for games to play after the “sex” is over, we will find nothing, at least not within the first results of the search. And it seems that the only thing people care about is everything that goes before orgasm, and the reality is that it is not true. 

What are the post games? 

There are some people who are concerned about being able to continue afterwards because, let’s be clear about something, the encounter does not end after climax. Since eroticism, sensuality, complicity or romance, amongst others, may be continued or even increased due to oxytocin ( a hormone that is secreted during sexual intercourse), allowing couples the opportunity to explore and learn more about each other, enhance their sexuality and share additional moments of intimacy. This can be called post play (to differentiate it from foreplay).

These kinds of engagements are more common in trusting relationships. There’s a logical reason for this: a certain degree of complicity is necessary in order to feel comfortable enough, and such complicity rarely exists between couples that have just met each other. However, there are no written rules to follow so we encourage you to play these games with someone you are still not familiar with, as it can be a fun way for you to build intimacy. Would you like to learn a few tips? The following games and practices are great ways to get intimate even more after a sexual encounter. 

Storytelling time

Not sure what to talk about after having a sexual encounter? It might sound silly, but exchanging experiences, anecdotes, or even creating a story, helps to strengthen the connection between couples. I suggest you read a story after having sex. Maybe you feel confident enough to improvise or create a story from scratch. And if you have been left wanting… It can be the ideal occasion for an erotic story either by creating it, reading it or listening to it and feeling the excitement before the encounter and starting all over again.

talk about after having a sexual encounter

Maybe you are with a very special person in your life? You can try sharing your feelings using romantic phrases by sharing your feelings and speaking clearly about your feelings. If you create a safe space, communication will flow much better!

In case you find it hard to say creative phrases, here are some ideas that you can say after you’ve made love:

  • “Being with you is the best thing that ever happened to me.”
  • “Being with you is like being in paradise.”
  • “You are a very special person in my life and I am so grateful to have you by my side.”
  • “With you, love is an indescribable feeling.”
  • “You are my refuge, with you I feel safe.”
  • “Being with you makes me feel whole and happy.”

It is important to keep in mind that everyone is different and what may seem romantic to one person, may not be so romantic to others. Therefore, it is important to take into account the preferences and interests of the other person and to express your feelings sincerely and authentically.

Sex quiz: are you able to guess it?

Have you ever played 20 questions? Right, the game where you only have 20 questions to guess what’s on your partner’s mind, only this time with grown-up topics. The idea is to think of something spicy, exciting or pleasurable you would like to do with your partner, and then the other person has to ask 20 questions to try to guess what you want to do.

This game allows each person to understand better their partner’s desires and fantasies, learn more about what their partners are into and what are the things they want to try,  without having to be so obvious or direct from the beginning, which can sometimes be a bit boring and can make you lose interest.

The wish box

Each person should write five to ten questions, topics of conversation or wishes on slips of paper for their partner. These folded pieces of paper are then placed in a mailbox (if you do not have a mailbox, you can use a bowl or a container where all the papers can be stored). 

At this point the game starts: players must each take a piece of paper out of the mailbox at the same time. Take turns answering the question.

All five senses

Sight

Our eyesight is one of the most explored senses, it helps heighten arousal through visual stimuli such as porn or a photo. However, one can explore this sense with a a littler bit of imagination. For instance, you might consider adding a variety of soft, dim light sources or colored light bulbs. As a result, the room becomes warm and inviting, which can provide a mysterious and magical atmosphere. You can also use candles if you like.

Smell

The sense of smell is one of the least explored senses and rarely plays an important role in sexual encounters, but sexual and affective encounters can increase when smell is taken into account. To do this, use fragrances such as vanilla, sandalwood or Ylang Ylang.

Touch

Being touched and touching another person can be one of the greatest pleasures. Due to the fact that our biggest sexual organ is the skin. This is probably the reason why human beings are born with a “thirst for skin”. In other words, let’s get down to work: experiment with tactile sensations. Alternative between light, soft touches and firm touches, which can be especially intense and pleasurable.

Cuddling after having sexual encounters is usually appreciated, especially when one wants to take care of the other person’s emotional and sexual spheres. In the end, they are physical tokens of affection that foster greater bonding of the couple.

What are the post games

Taste

Taste is not just about savoring. Taste is also about one’ s experience of eating and drinking, including texture, temperature and aroma. Therefore, taste provides us with a vast sensory information source from which we can benefit in bed. To do so, add in sweet fruits, honey, warm chocolate or whipped cream. Natural sweet foods can help cheer up your mood and add a unique flavor to the post-sexual encounter.

Hearing

According to several studies, it is claimed that people hearing the sound of the voice of someone they like has the power to cause an increase in bonding. If this is what you are looking for, I suggest you hum softly while giving kisses to your partner. This may seem silly at first and may be a source of laughter in bed, but who says no to having a good time of humor as a couple? You can even make light sounds while exploring erogenous zones such as the neck, breasts, inner thighs or belly. Your partner will sense the vibrations of the vocal cords directly on the body.

Perhaps you’d like to leave the erotic aspects of the relationship and focus exclusively on the more romantic aspects of the relationship, I encourage you to say thank you after lovemaking. This simple gesture helps to validate and value the erotic encounter and share perspectives. 

Conclusion

We can state that preliminaries are usually associated with a so-called warm-up, start-up or alike, which sets the mood. What mood? That of penetration.

No wonder that certain erotic practices are socially considered to be first class and others, second class. As if all the practices that take place during the encounter (including kissing, hugging, caressing, oral sex, etc.) were not equally valid.

Maybe it is time to emphasize that eroticism, affection and pleasure prevail in all sexual practices and, of course, in every encounter (even when we think it is already over). So, let’s stop separating the wonderful sexual world into categories and phases and let’s learn to enjoy the whole process.

Andres Suro Sexologist
Andrés Suro Sexologist

Author: Andrés Suro (Sexual Coach at MYHIXEL)

Psychologist specialized in the social area and expert in sexology applied to education.

PS: Remember you can book a private consultation with me at MYHIXEL CLINIC. Book your appointment here.

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