There’s no doubt that the global Covid-19 pandemic that we’re experiencing is an unprecedented situation that has changed our lives and changed us as people.
We’ve been subjected to months of home confinement, a change in our habits, going out less, and avoiding socializing as much as possible. Most of us don’t have any sort of past experience to fall back on which would help us know how to deal with this sort of situation. Because of that, the uncertainty just keeps on growing, and this can create times of real worry and stress that affect us personally, and our relationships with our partners.
If this has been the case in your life then don’t worry, because today we’re going to give you some vital guidelines to help you overcome a relationship crisis. However, before we do that, we’ll have a look at how confinement has affected relationships, and the tell-tale signs that show that your relationship is going through a crisis.
How confinement and the pandemic has affected couples
Sharing the same space with the same person 24/7, for days, weeks, even months on end… Then, if you add working from home, daily uncertainty, hardly being able to leave your house, hearing bad news continually, and trying to keep the routines going for the children into the mix, then it’s hardly surprising that this has left its mark on many couple’s relationships.
The first data in this regard came from China, where, in some cities, there had been a record number of divorce suits due to the forced isolation, but we couldn’t have imagined that this would soon turn into a second “epidemic” of a different kind.
According to data from Legálitas, during the hardest months of the confinement, March and April, divorce rates in Spain went up by 41%. Since then, this percentage has fallen month by month, but it’s still currently 19% higher than the figures from before the crisis.
So, if your relationship hasn’t yet reached the point of no return, then there’s still time to save it and to re-light the spark in your love life!
Tell-tale signs that your relationship is going through a crisis
An occasional argument or a few days of not getting on so well doesn’t mean that your relationship is heading for the rocks. Here, though, are some pointers that could suggest that it is:
- A lack of dialogue: Neither party is communicating, and this always leads to misunderstandings and tense situations with arguments that lead nowhere.
- Destructive criticism: You start to focus more on the other person’s bad points rather than their good points. There is constant criticism, usually with a sarcastic or disdainful tone of voice, an uncomfortable atmosphere, and defensive attitudes.
- You no longer do anything together: You don’t feel like doing anything with your partner, and, if you do, it always ends in an argument. You’ve lost the desire to do anything together and it seems that you no longer have anything in common. You’re sharing a big part of your life with another person and yet you feel lonely.
- Sex: The desire to have sex has disappeared and sex is virtually non-existent. When you do have sex it just seems like an obligation and it doesn’t seem to mean anything.
If you can identify with these points, then, without a doubt, your relationship is going through a crisis. In that case, pay close attention to the following points that we’ll be giving you so that you can try to reverse the situation.
Guidelines to help you overcome a crisis in your relationship
If you use the extra time you’re spending at home with your partner well, then your relationship can still change. You’ll be able to turn things around and strengthen the bond you have. Have a close look at the following guidelines:
- Accept the situation: The most important thing is to face the fact that you’re going through a relationship crisis, and then identify the origins and causes of the problems. In this way, it will be a lot easier to address the situation and get to the root of the problem.
- Communication: This is the fundamental element of any relationship. Expressing how you feel, what you need, what your limits are, what’s happening to you… these are all basic elements that you need in order to build a solid foundation. However, you should always make sure you don’t accuse the other person and use non-violent language. Sometimes we take it for granted that our other half will know that we’re in a bad way, and that they’ll know what’s happening to us and know how to solve it. But, when we don’t talk about it, then this is always going to lead to misunderstandings and arguments as we’ll be thinking that they aren’t doing their bit in the relationship.
- Quality time together as a couple: Here we’re talking about being able to do things that you enjoy together in a totally free and open way. Watching a series on TV, taking a nap together, having a nice conversation, a romantic surprise dinner, dancing together, listening to music together, playing a board game, doing hobbies or puzzles together…
- Time to yourself: Although it’s important for you to do activities together, it’s also vitally important that you continue to have time for yourself. Find a part of the house that’s “your part”; don’t force yourself to spend all your time with your partner just because things aren’t going too well, as this will only weaken the relationship even more. Read a book, listen to music, watch a series that your partner doesn’t really like, and set aside time to meditate and think.
- Be positive: Try to look at things positively, and don’t always be negative. Try to see the glass as being half-full and not half-empty. Even though your relationship is going through a rocky time, you can use the current situation to spend more quality time together, turn the situation around, and rekindle your love. Try to always speak in a positive tone and never use aggressive language. In difficult times, it’s essential to rely on the other person for their support to overcome the difficulties, but it’s also important that you’re there for them. You can help to create positive emotions through empathy or humor.
- Times of intimacy: It’s important to realize that sex isn’t an obligation. If you feel obliged to have sex with your partner, then that will only make the situation worse. You can look after your sex lives in other ways too – look for times when you can caress and hug each other as you used to do in the early days; say things that you haven’t expressed for a while, such as “I missed you’. That kind of emotional connection brings the couple closer together.
Sex during a relationship crisis
As we’ve already mentioned, this situation that we’ve been through has no doubt caused us times of stress and worry that may have affected your sexual health, possibly even causing you to suffer from premature ejaculation. This situation can produce even more frustration, aggravating an already difficult situation and leading to a crisis with your partner.
During the home confinement you may have read about how the website PornHub offered its premium service free of charge in Italy, causing many sexologists to say that “self-masturbation is going to become a favorite pastime during lockdown”.
We need to get rid of the old-fashioned idea that self-pleasure is frowned upon in a relationship. Quite the contrary; in most cases, it will actually improve relationships. The reality is that, in order to have a healthy sexual relationship with your partner, you first need to have a healthy sexual relationship with your own body.
When you set aside time for self-pleasure, you can also improve premature ejaculation problems with devices such as MYHIXEL I. Combining this device with the MYHIXEL Play app, you can develop your full sexual potential through masturbation. This system is based on a methodology, developed by expert sexologists, to control the physical and mental aspects involved in ejaculation.
So, if your relationship is at breaking point, caused, in part, by times of stress and worry during this time of home confinement which have affected your sex life, then MYHIXEL is an efficient, proven, and natural solution, without you having to resort to pills or chemicals. So, what are you waiting for? Bring a smile back to your sex life!
Author: Anel Martínez (Sexual Coach at MYHIXEL)
Sexologist specializing in sex therapy and sex education, mental health and human behavior.
PS: Remember you can book a private consultation with me at MYHIXEL CLINIC. Book your appointment here.