Is there anything better than the ecstatic rush of an orgasm?
Then why would you deliberately seek orgasm denial?
For some people, the tantalizing practice of denying climax leads to explosive sex play.
You should be!
In this article, I’ll let you in on all the erotic pleasures of denied orgasms so that you can start experiencing it tonight.
Here’s what you’ll discover in this article:
(You can use the links to jump to a specific section)
- What is Orgasm Denial?
- How Does it Work?
- Why is it Exciting?
- Orgasm Denial as Power Play
- Types of Orgasm Denial
- The Benefits of Orgasm Denial
- How to Practice Orgasm Denial
- Next Level Orgasm Control
What is Orgasm Denial?
Orgasm denial is an erotic game. You do not allow yourself or a partner to climax despite being in a state of heightened arousal.
Forbidding someone to come heightens the anticipation of climax and results in toe-curling orgasms when it is finally allowed.
You can even use this technique to hold back your orgasms, during solo play, and experience intense sexual release in the end.
The art of sexual denial can strengthen intimacy levels between couples and even amplify your solo erotic fantasies. Both men and women can enjoy it.
The dominance and submission dynamics of this kink makes it a perfect fit for fans of BDSM. BDSM enthusiasts can even use chastity devices* to prevent any sexual stimulation during total sexual denial. (More about this later.)
*A quick cautionary note on the risks of using chastity devices: It is better to achieve orgasm denial naturally rather than use a chastity device for long-term (like overnight). These devices cause significant compression on the penile tissue, which can be harmful if used continuously.
However, denial isn’t just for BDSM fans.
How Does it Work?
Orgasm denial is all about purposely refraining from sexual release.
One partner forbids the other from climaxing to increase erotic arousal. This can last from a few minutes to a few hours.
However, it doesn’t always involve withholding sexual stimulation.
During orgasm denial, the dominant can engage in sexual practices with their partner. They can tease and please their partner, but the sexual act ends without the partner achieving orgasm.
However, erotic sexual denial isn’t just for couples.
You can practice sexual denial even when flying solo.
Edging vs. Orgasm Denial
Don’t confuse orgasm denial with edging.
Though both are about delaying orgasms, they’re not the same.
What is Edging?
To delay climax during a sexual act is edging. But the climax is still its eventual goal. You take your partner to the edge of climax and then stop all sexual stimulation. You keep them in this heightened state of arousal until they go over the edge.
In orgasm denial, this delay in reaching a climax can be almost indefinite. The sexual act can conclude without orgasm. You can prolong denial for hours or even days.
When you are trying this for the first time
If you are trying sexual denial out for the first time, I would recommend that you begin with delaying your orgasms during one sexual session (using edging).
Gradually, you can increase the time it takes to reach orgasm and finally deny the orgasm during a sexual act.
Why is Orgasm Denial Exciting?
With longterm couples, sex can become a rushed act where each partner tries to help the other reach orgasm as quickly as possible.
Masturbation is often the same with many men, where sexual stimulation accelerates an orgasm.
Orgasm denial enthusiasts do the opposite.
Denial is exciting because it makes both partners dedicate their time and attention to the whole sexual experience – and not just reaching the Big O.
In everyday sex, each experience can become less exciting than the last. With orgasm denial, each experience brings new insights into what the other person is feeling.
You and your partner can apply these learnings to make the sexual stimulation last for longer periods.
Orgasm Denial as Power Play
Usually, two individuals practice orgasm denial. Therefore, it fits perfectly with the power dynamics of BDSM and its dominant and submissive roles.
It gives the dom a feeling of control over how and when their partner will receive sexual gratification. The sub, on the other hand, would enjoy the erotic experience of begging and surrendering control over their orgasm to their partner.
That’s why this is the perfect way to develop sexual power dynamics between individuals!
During masturbation, the power play comes in controlling your own body and desires. This self-control is rewarded with an intense orgasm at the end of your experience when you eventually let yourself orgasm.
Types of Orgasm Denial
There are two kinds of orgasm denial:
A. Total denial
As the name suggests, total denial means no sexual stimulation at all. The pleasure achieved from total denial relies on the buildup of sexual frustration throughout several days or weeks of sexual deprivation.
To achieve total denial, couples may use toys, like male chastity belts and penis locks, to avoid any type of physical contact, even against clothes. For women, there are also chastity belts that prevent any sexual stimulation.
The dominant partner can increase their partner’s sexual frustration by visually teasing them during this phase with erotic pictures and other stimuli.
B. Tease and denial
Tease and denial is a “rollercoaster” method.
In tease and denial, the dominant partner sexually excites the submissive partner and then stops altogether.
Tease and denial can operate alongside edging. The difference is that here, the partner may or may not wait for the submissive to be on the edge of orgasm to interrupt sexual stimulation.
In the “tease and denial” method, there are usually no physical restraints, so the sub is trusted not to touch their own body. However, other kinds of toys can be used, like adult restraints, blindfolds, and even a butt plug for additional prostate stimulation.
The Benefits of Orgasm Denial
There is more to sexual denial than intense climaxes.
Here’s what this game of denial can do for you and your sexual life:
1. Control Your Body
Male orgasm denial allows you to practise control over your body – giving you mastery over how long you last in bed.
With proper orgasm control, you can last for longer periods in bed and can even learn how to orgasm on command.
It can also help to learn how to control your pelvic floor muscles to strengthen these muscles.
What are the pelvic floor muscles?
During an orgasm, your pelvic floor muscles are the ones that contract involuntarily to make the orgasm happen. The more you are sexually teased, the more your pelvic floor muscles are activated and exercised.
2. Have Exhilarating Sex
Refraining from sexual release for a long time can result in more intense orgasms.
Sometimes, this can even result in multiple orgasms (in women).
It can also teach you to have orgasms faster (because of the buildup in sexual frustration) or slower (because of constant climax denial during sex).
You can even derive more pleasure from the added power dynamics of playing with a partner.
It isn’t just great for pleasure; it can also strengthen the bonds of a relationship – making sex even more exhilarating.
3. Add a Fun Element
Trying out new positions and adult toys when playing the denial game can be fun.
Experimenting and exploring with your own body and sexual pleasure can also help you enjoy intimate sessions with your partner. You can even play around with different roles to find what you love.
Practise climax denial leading up to a special occasion, like an anniversary or Valentine’s Day, to make the celebration even more special and exciting.
Or, use it as a recurring kink in your sex life.
Finally, the practice can also be quite fun to do by yourself.
How to Practice Orgasm Denial
You can enjoy sexual denial in many ways.
Here’s how to do it by yourself, with a partner, and how to use toys and accessories:
A. How to Fly Solo
You can practise sexual denial by going without sexual stimulation for a few more days than you usually do. Once you’ve mastered it, you can challenge yourself to last for extended periods of time.
You can also play with tease and denial during your masturbation sessions where you don’t let yourself climax.
Remember, the longer you hold off, the more intense your orgasm will be!
B. How to Climax Together
The idea of climax denial is an exciting and attractive kink for any relationship. You simply have to decide who the dominant and submissive partners will be and then act accordingly.
However, the key to perfecting it in a relationship is communication.
You should also decide on a safe word.
Remember, this practice is based on the feeling of discomfort by either you or your lover. That’s why you should decide on a safe word in case you or your partner get too uncomfortable or are in pain and don’t want to proceed.
The practice can be especially uncomfortable for men. Men can use prostate milking to combat any discomfort and maintain good prostate health.
What is prostate milking?
It’s the process of stimulating the prostate gland to flush out the fluid that builds up in anticipation of the male orgasm.
While there are no such precautions needed during female orgasm denial, anal stimulation can relieve some tension.
Finally, it’s always a good idea for the partner who is enforcing sexual denial to show their love and affection for their submissive partner once the session is over. Such an act will restore the dynamics to normal and strengthen your bonds.
C. How to Use Restraints and Toys
Toys and physical restraints are great ways to upgrade your orgasm denial experience.
Using restraints during sex sessions are sometimes referred to as the ‘tie and tease’ method.
With physical restraints, you can tease people for an extended period and have a heightened level of control as the dominant partner. If you want to practice female domination, all you need is a vibrator, cuffs, and a blindfold.
You can quickly get these toys online or check out your local sex shop.
Many men and women use a chastity cage when practicing total denial.
I would never recommend a chastity cage, as I am skeptical about its safety. However, if you must use one, make sure you find a chastity cage that fits well. (Read our cautionary note on chastity devices above*.)
There should be no excess friction, especially against the penis, and no blood-restricting pressure to avoid unnecessary pain and discomfort.
Leather is usually the top choice for a female and male chastity cage. However, there’s no way to sterilize it, so you should be extra careful with it and not use it for prolonged sessions.
Remember to be safe by taking them off to allow for proper hygiene, and don’t lose the key!
Next Level Orgasm Control
One of the main benefits of orgasm denial is the ability to last longer in bed.
But that’s not the only way!
You can use cutting-edge technology to take control of your ejaculation.
A Scientifically Proven Solution To Last Longer: MYHIXEL
MYHIXEL is a scientifically proven methodology explicitly designed to help you control your ejaculation. It combines a revolutionary mobile app with a penile stimulator to help you learn how to control your orgasm.
With MYHIXEL, you can train yourself to last for longer periods of time, wherever you want.
Developed in collaboration with the Murcian Sexology Institute, MYHIXEL combines the experience of doctors and sexologists with cutting-edge technology.
Tested in over 800 men, MYHIXEL helped them last up to seven times longer in bed!
Additionally, this method is completely natural, with no side effects.
It’s the perfect solution if you cum too fast!
How does MYHIXEL work?
With the anonymized MYHIXEL app, you can follow a personalized ten-week self-learning program. Using the app, you can discover your body. It also teaches you to control the mental and physical aspects of orgasm – giving you more control over your body.
To help you actively train your body to last longer in bed, you’ll also be using a state-of-the-art penile stimulator. This is in addition to the app.
Unlike most other solutions, MYHIXEL puts you in control of your orgasm. You don’t have to rely on anything else to help you control your orgasm.
To learn more about MYHIXEL and how it can help you if you cum too fast, click here.
Whether you’re practicing it solo or with a partner, orgasm denial can be an exciting kink to add to your bedroom repertoire. It can teach you a lot about your body, strengthen the bonds between you and your lover, and help you master your orgasms.
If you want to use technology to learn how to control your orgasms and last longer in bed, there’s no better way than MYHIXEL.
Author: Andrés Suro (Sexual Coach at MYHIXEL)
Psychologist specialized in the social area and expert in sexology applied to education.
PS: Remember you can book a private consultation with me at MYHIXEL CLINIC. Book your appointment here.