Hello dear (and happy) bachelor,
Yes, that’s you, you who haven’t had a partner for quite some time now. You’ve gone from “ex-partner” to “no partner” without even noticing. You’ve stopped thinking about your ex and you don’t want to find anyone just yet. But you are waiting for that special someone who’ll come along sooner or later and end your current single status.
BEING SINGLE IS MORE THAN AN ART (AND BEING SINGLE AND HAPPY EVEN MORE SO)
We can easily find famous bachelors in films and literature. However, I can assure you that this isn’t one of those articles where the author tells you all about the life and miracles of real or fictitious people and how much fun they’re having. Mainly because the bachelor status often goes hand in hand with a “multi-millionaire” lifestyle, and that’s quite a troubling image, right?
So, let’s get back to reality.
Being single is more than just a word. It’s a mental and physical state. And, for that matter, it requires so much more than just waxing your pubic hair just in case you get lucky tonight.
Let’s face it, this is the only reason we get to work on this delicate area. If it weren’t for hoping that a tongue might find its way down there, then all men’s pubes would look like a Vietnamese jungle, but with less rice.
Having said that, every good bachelor should have clearly defined points that will help him live out his bachelor days as an amazing opportunity, and not as a prison sentence. Come on, if you handle it well, then being single is a blessing. If you can’t handle it so well, then things will get on top of you, and you’ll do anything to get out of the situation, with all the mistakes that go with that state of mind.
For that reason, I’m going to join a trend that’s one of the few useful ones in the blogs being created by influencers these days: I’m going to write a list. So, here are 4 tips for you on all that you need to be single and happy (and not die in the attempt)
4 TIPS ON HOW TO BE SINGLE AND HAPPY
1. ACCEPT THAT YOU’RE SINGLE, IT’S THE FIRST WOUND THAT NEEDS TO HEAL
It might seem like a joke, but this is a very basic point. Leave your past behind. I’m not saying you should forget it, because forgetting means not remembering and then you may fall back into the arms of your ex again. Just leave your past where it belongs and look to the future. This is a time when the most important person has to be you.
2. STOP PAMPERING YOURSELF, BUT DON’T STOP TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF – HEALTH RATHER THAN HEDONISM
Whether it’s you who finished your last relationship or whether you were the dreaded “dumped one”, your complaining days have come to an end. Or they should have. You have to stop pampering yourself, indulging in comfort food, spending afternoons (and evenings and mornings) on the sofa and having a shower from time to time when the smell becomes unbearable. In a nutshell: less hedonism and more self-care. Less Chinese, and more salad. Less “a day is just a day” and more “tomorrow I’ll thank myself”.
The time of feeling sorry for yourself ended when you stopped thinking about your ex every single day. And if you don’t want your next date to be with the tension doctor, then start taking care of yourself and taking decisions with your head, and not your stomach nor your testicles (we’ll talk about balls in a moment, don’t be impatient).
Start taking care of yourself and stop spoiling yourself. I shouldn’t have to tell you, but you’re not a 6-year-old. You’re in your thirties and that belly isn’t there because it’s swollen. It’s going to stay put if you don’t do anything about it.
3. TOUCH YOURSELF AND HEAL YOURSELF
It’s as simple as that. Touch yourself all the time. Enjoy yourself and your body. Accept yourself, love yourself, and start changing what you don’t like about yourself. But only do it because you want to. Not because you want anyone to look at you differently. The only thing that should matter to you right now is you, and the image you should care about is the one you see in the mirror.
But, above all, touch yourself. Did you know that masturbation is one of the best ways to prevent prostate cancer? I’m not telling you to do it non-stop, either. Again, you’re not 15, you’re 35. But don’t be embarrassed to admit it.
Make the most of yourself and get ready for your interactions with other people, because, as a friend of mine, now a sports journalist, said, “masturbating is like a preview before the main news item”.
If you want my advice, buy yourself a MYHIXEL. This has been a revelation for me, and a remarkable improvement for relationships that are with people and not just with yourself. Remember the words of that old sage Woody Allen: “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone you love.”
And, believe me, you always think you’re the best at what you’re doing, but in bed, a little help never hurts. And that’s where MYHIXEL can help you. I thought the same thing. But who doesn’t want to be able to control their ejaculations? Who doesn’t want to be able to climax when they want, when the work is done and you’ve definitely passed the exam?
Trust me and follow the steps that’ll help you reach those 7th heaven orgasms. And, besides, you’re going to have a blast giving it to your “love wand” (sorry readers, I just don’t know what name to give my penis without it sounding rude), and hey, I’m a Harry Potter fan too, so it’s a win-win situation.
4. KEEP YOUR SOCIAL LIFE HEALTHY
Whether it’s having a drink with your friends or getting that date of yours into your bed, organization and order are very important. Between stuff at work, things at home, family, having to go to the Post Office because you weren’t there to collect your package (or some other urgent transport company that doesn’t really care whether you’re at home or not, because they’re always going to swear that you weren’t at home). Basically, with all this daily activity, healthy eating, exercise, rest and everything else, it’s hard to find time for dates in your weekly schedule – whether it’s with friends or getting naked in bed.
So, dear friend, I’m telling you now, find a way. To be a happy bachelor you have to keep in mind that part of a bachelor’s health is found in sharing time with others. Believe me, your head and your body will thank you.
TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF IS IMPORTANT
That beer after work, or at the weekend…it should be a government regulation. Beer is almost juice after all. It’s pure, it’s vegetarian. Come on, it’s good for everything. And if beer’s not your thing, then what about a glass of wine, a vermouth, or that red drink that the ladies drink after Mass? Drinking, always in moderation, is something pleasurable to share with others, and is more company than the drink itself.
And if, instead of meeting up with friends, you have a drink with someone you’ve just met and who you want to get to know more deeply – I guess that you might want to get intimate with them too, but that’s up to you – then remember that being single isn’t the same as being alone. Social relationships are part of personal health. And, what the hell, if you’re single because you’ve decided you want to be, then what better way than to share that singleness with another single person and compare experiences and learn together?
BECAUSE, AT THE END OF THE DAY, A HEALTHY LIFE IS WHEN YOU LEARN TO BE BETTER
Learn to be better. There’s no better apprentice than the one who wants to know more through the simple process of learning. Think of the pleasure you get from continually getting better. And, of course, you always learn new things in bed, and you can share them with others too!
And remember that being single doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. You’re in a stage of self-discovery. Enjoy it!